Eye of the Beholder (charcoal drawing)
16 hours
14" × 17" (A3)
This is a very personal piece and it's the perfect concept for my first illustration in years. Each hand represents abuse, tragedy, and/or trauma that I've experienced and carried with me until this very day. Even though the hands seem almost tender and embracing, they're very overwhelming and suffocating at times. But I've come to accept them and will not let them define me. I get to define me. I get to choose how to live my life.
This is why we should always be kind to one another. You just never know what a person is struggling internally regardless of what their Tweet says, their Instragram shows, their Tiktok portrays. Also you never know what a person is capable of. They could be the next Hitler or Ted Bundy, but what if they are the next Mozart? Or Da Vinci or Einstein?
I would like to finally start transitioning into illustrations and away from portraits. I'll still do portraits here and there, but they won't be the bulk of my drawings any longer. I realize I may lose some of my followers and the subjects of my illustrations are going to get even darker from here on out. I will not get offended nor upset if you choose to not follow my journey. I totally get it.
For those of you who have known me since my younger years as an artist, this is not new. I used to do very dark subjects, but I was not very good at it hahaha... I started doing portraits to help establish my own technique and sharpen my skills so that one day, I can become an illustrator. Today is the day for a new beginning.
Thank you everyone for all the love and support for all of these years. It's been 18 years since I started drawing in 2004 and I don't know where I'd be without any of it. If I could choose to start over, I wouldn't change a single thing. Each hand has helped move me to become who I am today. That is the silver lining.
Drawing versus Inspiration:
The pose from the 2022 drawing was actually from a self portrait photo taken in 2006. It is my husband’s favorite photo of me.
Heavy Lies the Head (charcoal drawing)
... that wears the crown.
12 hours
14" x 17" (A3)
OMG can you guys believe this is my 3rd drawing I've completed this year??!!!! Though one of them was mostly finished that I started 2 years ago, I'm stilling counting it as 3 this year haha...
I've been obsessed with hands lately, especially since I was diagnosed with carpal tunnel syndrome. As I inch closer to needing surgery, I'm trying my best not to panic. I worry all the time that I will overwork and injure my hands and wrists with each completed art piece. I reallyreallyreally need my hands. I can't imagine not being able to ever do art again. My friends joke that I would always find a way even if I have to use my feet to draw haha... They ain't wrong!
Hands are so challenging to render especially realistically. It's been said to be the hardest body part to draw, I don't disagree. I can use the practice so maybe you'll see more hand drawings from me... or maybe not? I guess you'll have to wait and see.
I think my most proudest piece for 2022 is the least favorite piece, this one haha... I do understand my art is not for everyone and I'm okay with that. I think I accidentally achieved something that I've been aiming for with my art on this drawing somehow.
I've always wanted to create art that is open-ended without any obvious meaning. I want the style to be drastic, but the message more subtle. I feel like I did that here. I even left the description vague on purpose. I feel like the viewer should be able to insert their own story and make themselves a part of the piece, finding more meaning to each and their own.
Is it a he or she? Is the crown of hands reaching higher or holding them down? Are they finding the light or succumbing to the darkness? I don't know, you tell me.
Drawing versus Inspiration:
The shading from the 2022 drawing was taken from an older drawing done in 2004.
Paper Thin (charcoal drawing)
19 hours
14" x 17" (A3)
Having paper thin skin can be rough. I feel like it's so easy to take things personal even when it was not meant to be. I'm such an emotional person no matter how logical I try to be. If it weren't for having such a high emotional response to everything, I don't think I'd be an artist today though.
The grasping hands inside the chest represents the many heartbreaks, betrayals, suffering, and even agony. The more pain being inflicted, the tighter those hands will grip around your heart. You close yourself more and more each time until you can't squeeze anymore. Then what?
You find yourself harden, cold, and isolated. You loosen it up for each person that earns your love, respect, trust, and loyalty. You tend to bend over backwards for them. But it's always those you love the most that hurt you the hardest bringing you to your knees. Love hard, hurt hard. It's just a game of squeezing and easing the tension. Don't let the bad apples stop you from loving because the good ones are so worth every ounce of your love.
I played with this idea for months, so much that I almost gave up on it haha... My 4th drawing for the year!!! That is monumental for me! I may start on a new drawing before the end of the year or just take a break. I haven't decided yet?
Drawing versus Inspiration:
The 2022 drawing was taken from 2 separate drawings. The pose from a drawing from 2008. Then the open chest is from a remake drawing done in 2010, its original drawing was 2005.
